The painful truth occured for me to find out that it was a lie

Okay another entry... this one i really had to think about for 3 whole months of nothingness.
there are many things i said that I'm ultimately trying to understand within myself. "why did i let go?"

Everyday as i walk the streets commuting all the way to Alabang, i happen to pass by the LRT Ortigas station-walking there just brings me solemnity. I often dig deep into my thoughts, and the only matter that comes into my head is this-

"in that terminal, will i ever see your face again?
will i ever get to touch your hand the way you held mine?
if you could look into my weary eyes, and see how much i realized..
when i walk the roads we walked i wish your footsteps would find mine.."

I've done stupid things to hang on to him, and it came to a point where his past had to speak to his present. i understand to some extent that it is just simply... over.

But then again, as i walk silently, i often think what really is love? I do realize that love is really gone when a new lover is found, but what if it that isn't the case? could have i undergone just a phase? a phase that we were suppose to transcend? to pass through?

I know theres nothing more i can say to make it right, to even change the way things are.. but all i have learned from the space that i looked for, was that nobody can really replace a truelove. Like he said, "sayang marqui, hindi na naten kinailangan pagaralan mahalin ang isa't isa" and up to now i would like to stress the fact that i have loved genuinely and probably still loving. it did feel lost at some point.. yes.. but I'm still here aren't I? not bec. i have no one, but because it is the exclusive bond that we had that still lingers in me. I didn't even think of the time that we spent, it is only the person who really saw through me.

I still believe in destiny. If it's decision that brings us here... he once told me we were destined. and i felt every bit of it when he said that to me. Probably the reason why i still hold on..so i would only accept the sudden lost of love if it was an instrument to let them be together. I just wish that their love is great, far greater than what we had..coz if not.. knowing that without the physical presence, love is still capable of staying, even growing everytime we hit a point of realization.
i have all the right to bring ours back...